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Free PDF $#*! My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern

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$#*! My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern

Free PDF $#*! My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern

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Review

Sh*t My Dad Says is f______ great!...Very funny, very irreverent, very real. It’s refreshing at a time when we’re all choking to death on political correctness and can go for days without meeting a single person with common sense.” (Janet Evanovich, Time Magazine)“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” (Chelsea Handler)“Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny.” (Maxim)“A fun gift book that is bound to crack up anyone who flips through it.” (Los Angeles Times)“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like)“Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” (Kristen Bell)“Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching—and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book.” (Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club)“Justin Halpern’s dad is up there with Aristotle and Winston F*cking Churchill. He’s brilliant, and his son’s book is absolutely hilarious.” (A.J. Jacobs, New York Times bestselling author of The Know-It-All)

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From the Back Cover

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.""Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.""The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

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Product details

Paperback: 176 pages

Publisher: It Books (November 23, 2010)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 9780062067289

ISBN-13: 978-0062067289

ASIN: 0062067281

Product Dimensions:

5.5 x 0.4 x 7.1 inches

Shipping Weight: 5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.5 out of 5 stars

3,706 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#854,027 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

So, I bought this book on a whim, since it was on sale. I love the Kindle and Kindle app, but I tend to buy sale ebooks (max $5) … I just keep it cheap if I can’t have a physical copy to hold and love and flip through. There are exceptions to that silly little personal rule, but not many.All I can say is that I loved it! Halpern’s dad is a real character and his analogies and the lessons he teaches his son are colorful, to say the least. I laughed until I cried multiple times and my poor wife had to listen to me repeat quote after quote … out of earshot of my kids, of course. The book is definitely Rated R for the volume of cursing.This doesn’t bother me, but I’m throwing it out there out of respect for those who it may turn off.I really enjoyed getting to know the Halpern family. And, that’s really how I felt … as if I got to peek inside their lives. No family is perfect, and I enjoyed the honesty and quirkiness.Kudos to Halpern–great book!

I couldn't put this down. If you are offended by language, the title of the book should tell you what you're getting into, but this is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read. Justin Halpern is downright hilarious and has sarcasm and charisma oozing from his words as he retells more stories about his dad and his own life than I have in my entire family. It's almost hard to believe that it's all true, but I sorta hope it is, and he swears it is. I would randomly send quotes from this book to my friends and they'd laugh hard without even understanding where it came from. Once I explained where I got the quotes, they all went and read the book and all have said they've loved it (which is weird since my friends rarely read). Read the descriptions of the book and you get that on every. single. page. He makes fun of himself as much as he talks about his dad, and it's awesome. I can't recommend it enough!

Even funnier if you know or knew someone like Dad. I had the luck to know a man like him; he was my best friend's father. He told you the truth in no uncertain terms, usually in language he learned in the Navy. I could hear Gene's voice throughout this book, and feel my heart swell up missing him. Justin Halpern's Dad is the most laugh-inducing, hard-swearing, truth-telling guy you'll ever laugh until you cry over. You might not approve of his language but you're going to appreciate his honesty, how he is there for his family, and his blunt way of telling you what he thinks of everything. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

Sh#t My Dad Says was a fairly quick enjoyable read. It was great getting to know the author and most importantly his father. Although what glares at you first is Mr. Halpem Sr and is his command of colorful language it is quick to see through to the man and his love for his son. I could relate to for Justin and being the youngest of much older siblings. You tend to be an afterthought of two tired parents. But they unbeknownst to you have you in their range. Their love hasn't diminished just their enthusiasm for raising kids. Funny and thoughtful at the time. I look forward to reading Justin's other book.

Sh*t my Dad Says was so fun, I read this book in two days. Accessible, relatable, and absolutely hilarious, the book chronicles highlights from the author’s life though his father’s unusual, typically vulgar viewpoint. There are brief shorts and quippy vignettes, which makes this a great book to read during limited available reading periods. Well-written, poignant, and entertaining, there’s not much to say other than growing up with this dad must have been a riot.

Ha!This book is hilarious. I loved it.The author details his life in a refreshingly open and honest way, while keeping the hilarious sayings his dad comes up with at the fore.And his dad's sayings are... AWESOME! Brutal honesty mixed with plenty of foul language makes for some hilarious one-liners. But, once you get a little deeper into the book and understand how much the dad loves his boy, the funny sayings take on a weird sweetness that I just can't explain.I'm an old crusty, 43 year old dude with great hair and a thing for bacon, but as I read this book, I pictured myself at the same age as the author in each of the stories, and wished my dad had been as brutally honest with me as his was with him. Man, the trouble a little honesty would have saved me!The book is very short, not sure of the page count, but the actual book is small in size and not very long. Which is unfortunate, I could read Halpern's stuff all day long. I read it in one short sitting and immediately wanted more.In fact, I pre-ordered his follow-up effort "I Suck At Girls" before I got up from reading the book. It's that funny. The good news is, the second book was as good as the first!Thanks, Halperns! You guys are awesome.Now, how do I shower my boys (three and five) with the same brutal honesty I admired so much in this book without my wife bouncing a skillet off my skull?

Some how I happened to find Amazon's "Free Kindle for PC", curiosity got the best of me so I checked it out. I'm Soooo Happy I did!! There was a list of all kinds of books to choose from! Since I haven't read a book in I don't know how many years, I wanted to start out light and funny!! Let me tell you, after reading the first few pages of "Sh*t My Dad Says," I was hooked!!! This book provided me with a million laughs....I actually sat here reading and laughing out loud, (so hard at times) I almost wet my pants!!! Mr. Halpern wrote about the things his dad said to him as he was growing up and I could actually picture this little boy and his reactions!!! I think everyone can identify with Mr. Halpern, we've all been told things by our fathers. This book recaptures the relationship from child to adulthood and is Out of this World Funny!! I really Enjoyed the book and I fell in love with the author!!! I would Definitely Recommend "Sh*t My Dad Says" to Anyone who Wants or Needs to Laugh!!!

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